January 4, 2022

Happy New Year! Let me start out by saying, “Amen and thank you for allowing me to be here and express gratitude for what I have.” 2021 was 2020 in a bad wig. Hopefully 2022 comes in, sits down, and acts like it has some sense.

With the ushering in of the new year, I had to review the previous year, ripe with reflection and understanding. I continued on a journey of healing and self-discovery. I pushed through some pain and filled my cup with the wine of victory. I fell down, got up, fell again, stood tall, and kept pushing. But I never lost sight of what was most important – growth. And in growing, these are some of the lessons I learned and revisited over the past year.

• What’s good to you isn’t necessarily good for you. Everything comes with a consequence — be it positive or negative. Make sure that what you are entertaining and enjoying doesn’t come with a hefty price tag. If it costs you peace of mind, it’s too expensive.
• Letting go of painful emotions is not easy. The process of purging deep seeded trauma is hard but necessary for growth.
• Vulnerability is vital to forming a deeper connection. Taking off all of your armor to let someone get to know the real you requires trust and putting yourself out there.
• You’re feelings are real if you feel them. No one has the right or the power to take them away from you. Despite the circumstances, you owe it to yourself to fully express what you feel in a constructive way.
• Fear is a powerful emotion and can wreak havoc if given the freedom to roam about the acres of the mind. Being afraid is a natural response to situations and emotions that threaten your sense of safety or comfort. It is the body’s physiological response to danger. But you should not be stuck in place or held hostage by your fears.
• Failure stands for First Attempt In Learning. You will not get everything right on the first try, or the second try, or maybe even the fourth try. The purpose is to learn from your mistakes and keep trying until you get it right, especially if it is something of value to you.
• You can’t live your life for the approval of others. Every person in the world has a life of their own. You have to live your life pursuing what’s best for you — not anyone else.
• Make yourself a priority in your life. If you don’t enforce boundaries, you will always be disproportionately extending yourself.
• Self-care is critical to maintaining your temple. Your body is your temple and you have to treat it as such. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Constantly filling the cups of others and never filling your own will leave you depleted. Make time to attend to your mental health. Fill your own cup first.
• Be intentional with how you invest your time. Time passes regardless. Use this non-replenishable currency responsibly. Make it count.
• Health is wealth. Be mindful about how you treat your body. Eat more fruits and veggies. Aim to drink a gallon of water a day. Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day everyday.
• Have the difficult conversations. If you cannot express your true feelings in a relationship, ranging from friendly to familial to professional to romantic, then you create undue stress from suppressing them. Be tactful and considerate in your presentation.
• Give yourself permission to be happy. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind that you forget to take time to enjoy the energetic fruits of your labor. Getting to happy takes effort. But you have to bask in the glow of great energy.
• Real is rare. In a time where counterfeit is coveted and praised as authenticity, genuine people are few and far between. When you do come across an authentic individual, treat them well and with respect.
• Some people are trolls in real life. We’ve all heard of and experienced the age of DJ Twitter Fingers, specifically where individuals are heavy weight boxers behind the screens of their computers or phones. They are terse and bold when commenting online or sending text messages but lack the spine and cojones to say these things when confronted face-to-face. Don’t let these miserable cowards steal your joy or stop your shine.
• You don’t always have to choose violence. This one is pretty self explanatory, but opting to use tactful communication is a better choice than snarky tones and physical violence. I know sometimes the urge arises to want to slap someone in the mouth or match the disrespectful energy targeted toward you. But do not lower your energy to entertain stupidity.
• It’s okay to close the door. Not all “-ships” are meant to go the distance. People come into your life for a reason and/or a season. Take inventory of the “-ships” you have, friendships, relationships, situationships, and release what has run its course. Sometimes people show you who they are again and again and again.

While all the outcomes of my experiences were not always favorable, they were necessary to carry me into the next steps of my journey. Until next time.